In the Beginning

I am secretly dreading our trip to Alberta in the next few weeks.

It is going to be the *first* time I leave my children- with their grandparents- and its going to be for 5, or possibly 6, hopefully not, but maybe an entire week- and I am not looking forward to it. Unlike the last time I had to leave my children in the hospital overnight, I still got to see them during the day. And, I spent the entire day with them when they were in the hospital. (This was in August).

When twin B got to come home from the hospital--Addison--I hated that twin A--Maren--wouldn't be discharged because she was still having some minor problems. I wanted my family together, and I wasn't going to be happy until we were all together.

And now there are days where I looonnnnng to spend time away from them for longer than 2 or 3 hours. That small period of time doesn't always feel like long enough, though any break is a relief. Though, I do have to say that things are nowhere near where they were even a month ago, and the NEED to get away from them is virtually nil most days. 

I just never imagined that the first time I would spend a period of time away from them would be longer than a night. I am trying to prepare myself for it; but, I still do not like it.

Part of my worry revolves around Addison. She is so attached to me, I don't know how she is going to deal with me being away. I think it might be tough on her. I just hope it isn't too tough.

Boo.